I think I probably spent the majority of my life sitting outside of a bar in a car waiting for my mom to finish that last drink. All of my mom's husbands were severe alcoholics. She’s an alcoholic to this day. My mom went to jail a few times for DUI and assault. She was a very violent alcoholic.
Before I got pregnant with my daughter I ended up meeting these amazing people that didn't get loaded. They knew I was loaded but they took me in anyway. I met these folks in this trailer park, Dean and Mary. Dean was amazing. I adopted him as like my father. He's a big part of my life.
I understand why people do the NA (Narcotics Anonymous), or AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) program. They hug too much for me. That's why I can't do them. But I can see why these organizations work. ‘Cause it does work. But, I went for the mental health instead, to deal with my addiction. You have to deal with one or the other.
I wanted some pot. They said, "Oh God your mothers going to kill me." But then we did it anyway. We smoked pot. They gave me cross tops (speed) to make me go a little faster. "You want to try this?”
"When I hit 13, I was with this girl, and we just ran off. My mother took our camp fire group to Oaks Amusement Park. Brenda and I hitchhiked back to the house, and we met this guy. We stayed in a motel. That's the day we started doing cocaine."
I was 17 years old, and I was in a group home. They said they couldn't work with me anymore because; I was causing problems in the community. So, my mom dropped me off in downtown Portland at that point, and I became homeless that day. I was homeless from 17 until I was 29 years old.
I shot heroin a couple times and almost died. Ritalin's were out on the street and I started shooting up Ritalin's. I never tried methamphetamines till 2014. And once I tried it, it's on and off, and that is seriously the devil. I hate that drug. Alcohol was the root of all evil of my drugs. If I took a drink I would use cocaine or I would use Ritalin's or methamphetamines.
I never shot myself up. My ex shot me up. If he didn't do it he would beat me, hit me because he didn't want anyone else to do it...."
If You Are Having a Medical Emergency, Please Call 911
Portland Women's Crisis Line (503) 235-5333 or (888) 235-5333
Clackamas Women's Services Crisis Line (503) 654-2288 or (888) 654-2288